Showing posts with label essay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label essay. Show all posts

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Rejuvenate & Rejoice

Rewrite this essay for writing class :) and edited the ending . Kinda like the new ending . Hope you guys like it too !!!

The wind.
It came like spears, prickling her soul. The blanket was being too thin, it might be. As the maid saw her Madame twitching in shiver, she darted towards the other chamber to take another thick woollen blanket.

Lauren tried to inhale a great sum of air;- hoping the pain in her chest could be eased. Ah  She knew, her maid's endeavour would end in vain . Though she had added two ... no ... no ... three ... no ... it would just have been insufficient. Lauren sighed and coughed again. She could feel a sharp pain in her chest ; like being submerged in water , deprived of oxygen. Her head was heavy and so was her eyes but she could not close them. Not yet.

Lauren rubbed the empty space beside her and it felt cold, like the room temperature, indicating her daughter was not there before. Curiosity began to subjugate her brain. Where was her daughter?

"Mummy. Dinner is ready."

She sighed as she realized there was a tiny hand pulling her left hand. What should she answer? She had no energy to eat and consume the food. All she could do was lying carelessly on the mattress, accompanied by a surfeit of queasy sensation patrolling by her uvular. But ... of course.

"You have last staged cancer."

The doctor's voice was still reverberated in her eardrums. She suffered bone cancer but she refused to be warded. Lauren knew that she would have to go sooner or later. She did not have much time left for her daughter , Aya .

Aya ...
Six years old Aya knew nothing . She was still young and gullible . Two weeks after she was born, her father died in a tragic car crash. Thinking about Aya's future, without no one to look after her , Lauren could not stop the tears from streaming down her cold and pallid cheek. Loving Aya was the greatest feeling she had ever had. However, she had to leave her daughter soon.

"Mummy . The dinner is ready." Her brain snapped into focus as Aya kept on repeating the statement for a few times while clasping her mother's wiry arm.

Lauren tried to curl her lips upward in a semblance of a smile , coughing really hard and only managed to nod consecutively. Aya looked satisfied by the nods and she replied with an angelic smile.
Kissing her mother's forehead , Aya's twinkling eyes then nailed to Lauren's mien before she dashed towards the door.
Lauren exhaled a long-deep heavy sigh.

The unforgiving winds wailed proudly as they struck despair down to her very core. Her time has came. She could not bear the pain any longer. Another gentle breeze caressed her skin and ruffled her messy hair. Her dull weak hand reached for her chest , trying to sooth the pain . The agony was killing her ;- as if the bones were slowly shattered into pieces.

"I have been waiting for you and you are still sleeping?" Her ears caught Aya's voice, startling her.

Lauren could detect that Aya was approaching her and climbed onto the bed as the bed made a squeaky sound. Aya crawled towards her mother, sat huddled and stroked Lauren's hair gently . Lauren's hair used to be in brunette and all shiny but it was quite dull lately. Curling up small beside Lauren, Aya rested her head against her mother while kissing Lauren's shoulder repeatedly. Maybe Mummy was tired. Very tired.

"Darling." Lauren called her daughter hoarsely.
"I will be sleeping for another thousand years." She uttered with an abated breathe. " yourself."

Aya twitched her eyebrow in bewilderment.

Suddenly , her already wide eyes flipped open broadly and the small mouth asked in wonder , "But it was a long time , Mummy. What should I do to wake you up ?" Lauren rendered speechless upon hearing the unanswered question.

Aya wrapped her hands around Lauren's arm tightly while her eyes were still transfixed to her mother. She did not care. She would still wait until another thousand years as long as they would eventually have dinner together. They would have their pasta and laughed again . Like before.

"I love you .You love me 
We're a happy family 
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. 
Won't you say you love me too"

Tears swam in Lauren's eyes as Aya sang her favourite rhymes. Aya caressed her mother's wrinkled eyes before kissing them. She yawned and she could feel her eyelids were heavy. She would love to sleep but she was afraid . What if Mummy wake up and need her help ? She yawned once again and finally closed her eyes while tightened her hug.

Lauren gasped as another sharp pain hit her , the pain of her soul being taken. But no tears were coming out. Yes . She was ready to leave Aya.  Lauren inhaled the air , inhaled the smell of Aya's hair , and managed a smile .

Two hours later ...

"Mummy , wake up. Why are you so cold ?" Shaking her mother's arm for a few times, Aya uttered the question in panic. There was no reply however.

Her mother was lying breathlessly on the bed, not moving or even coughing . What had happened ?!

Aya jumped out of the bed and ran towards the maid's room. Pulling the maid's hand , she murmured , nearly cried ,"Mummy is cold. Put more blanket on her. Quick! "

The maid approached her Madame and leaned forward to check the pulse.

"Mummy is not cold , sweetie . She's only tired and need some sleep. " Aya winced and exclaimed that her mother have to wake up no matter what. Lauren hadn't had her dinner yet . She would starve.
Nevertheless, the maid would only shook her head while trying to plaster a smile . She tried not to cry in front of Aya but it was really hard .

All of sudden , Aya sprinted towards the table beside her mother's bed and grabbed her mother's purse  and the car key. She immediately handed it to the maid.

"Quick . We must find a really BIIIIG alarm clock to wake Mummy up."

Tears were eventually coming out from the maid's eyes and she sobbed real hard, trying to stop them . Seeing Aya's big twinkling aqua eyes pleading to her , made her to torn between telling the truth and making wild flying lies. She held the innocent little child in her arms and muttered weakly under her breathe ,

"Mummy will wake up, dear. I promise you.”

Aya nailed her eyes onto her maid’s face, eyebrows twitched and mouth pouted , disappointed by the answer :- it was not what she expected. She needed the clock! Not a promise. Mummy must be very hungry. 
Her insisting gaze sent shivers of guilty into the maid’s spine.

Can we buy the alarm clock tomorrow? The shopkeepers out there must be very sleepy. It’s already midnight, darling.” And she eventually nodded in frustration.

Aya could not sleep in peace, of course – thinking about Mummy would turn the night into a very long night.
She finally fell asleep while hoping that tomorrow would bring her good news.

She tried to open her eyes. But the unrelenting light was unbearable. Aya forced her eyes open though she felt like there were heavy stones on her eyelids. The rocking motion that carried her made her eyes immediately flipped open in curiosity. Where was she ?

Aya blinked her eyes for a few times, trying to comprehend the situation around her. Cold sprouted her body and her teeth gritted as she heard the ‘swoosh and swish’ of the rain. 
The maid was embracing her yet the warm gesture could not ease her worry. She ran her eyes around her only to see men and women in black, carrying umbrella in their hands. They looked sad. Some were even sobbing and Aya was pretty sure she saw a familiar old lady in a black cape was wailing real hard.

“Where are we?” the question was finally laboured from her mouth.

“At the cemetery.” Her maid replied in a forced gusto.

What is cemetery ? Curiosity bubbled inside her, she asked another question. "Why we're here?"

Mummy was going to somewhere really far. A better place: - she could watch Aya better from there. She could smile and laugh again if she goes there. “That is why we are here ; to send her.” The maid had told her and she explained more, “So you cannot cry or Mummy will not be happy again.”

Aya nodded repeatedly. Her mind considered the request. Crying was the only solution she could think of but in the meantime, she wanted Mummy to be happy again. It was okay not to cry. She knew she could do it.

With lump in her throat, Aya caressed her cold nose bridge, trying to stop the tears from coming out.
‘Please tears. For once. Please do not come out. Mummy has to be happy. She's sad enough lately.’ She whispered slowly, encouraging herself.

For the first time , Aya did not cry watching her Mummy going; unlike before when her Mummy left for outstation. 
In fact, she smiled. “Mummy, I hope you will be happy.”

But it was 12 years ago . . . When she knew nothing about death. Now she is mature enough to understand the life. 
Sometimes, she would wonder, why her Mummy had to go so early but then, a letter from Mummy for her 18th birthday explained everything. She did not need another answer.

“The dying should be rejuvenated
and the living should be rejoiced
and continue the life
as He had planned everything.”

True. He had planned everything.
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Sunday, 7 July 2013

My dad is my hero

Still learning . Made this out of sudden :) . If there is any grammatical error , u can always correct me.

‘My Dad is my hero.’

The phrase constantly ran back and forth in my mind like scurry ants. 
Can my Dad still be a hero? 

I ran my eyes around the class only to see the other classmates were beaming with joy, smiles plastering their faces and cheerfully answering the question. Answers went around the class; but still I could not figure out mine.

“My Dad bought me an iPhone last week. I really love him … “

“…he always takes our family to overseas…”

“…my dad is an important person in…”

A ‘pang’ of frustration hit me. Having all of those luxuries would be impossible for me. 
Huh … A deep heavy sigh unwillingly escaped from my long-held breath.

 But my Dad is not my hero anymore! I yelled in my heart , frustrated.

“Ruth? How about you ?” 

The image of my father vanished from my head and my mind snapped into focus. Mrs. Larrington’s smile could not ease my uneasiness however; - I could feel a few drops of sweats were trickling down my back. She was heading towards my seat and the sounds of ‘click clack’ of her red heels caught the other students’ attention.

“Uh … uh … He is my . . . hero,” I gulped , pausing for what seemed like ages , hesitated ;-torn between telling the truth and making wild flying lies, when the bell filled the air with the sound of freedom. I inhaled a deep, relieve breath as Mrs. Larrington eventually ended the class.

Dragging my feet home, my mind was still busy recollecting the memory of us ;- dad and me. I tried to think about something else yet my brain did not seem to agree with my desperate desire, the question was still attached to my brain like a plaque. 

As I was about to cross the main road, a sight of a little girl climbing his father’s back caught my attention. Then, she planted a kiss on his cheek and chuckled melodiously as she lied on her father’s back like it was the most comfortable place in this world. Her joie de vivre made my heart to grow with envy. A smirk was etched to my lips unexpectedly.

But … there was something familiar about the scene that caused prickles of recognition down my spine. All of sudden, a déjà vu hit me. I bit my lower lips remembering the facts that Dad used to carry me on his back too. The memory was still crystal clear though I was seven at that time.

It was nearly Christmas and I was snuggling in the thick woollen blanket with Dad. We were very happy as our tête-à-tête was filled with jokes and laughter that it was je ne sais quoi. Then the snows started to fall onto the earth and the pavements were covered with the white sparkles in less than five minutes.  “Dad , look at that.” The small finger of mine pointed at the road as we were watching the snow through our window. It was a perfect night;- I was momentarily paralysed by the stunning vista.

“Can I eat the snow, Dad ?” He smiled and shook his head slowly.

“So , I will get a baaaaaad stomach-ache if I eat the snow?” 

Dad only nodded, smile was still plastering his face. Out of the blue, he wrapped me with the thick blanket and carried me on his piggyback. I let out a loud shrieking scream, shocked by his quick action.

He took me out of the house, carrying me on his piggyback as if I was his most valuable treasure. I twitched in shiver as the cold sprouted my body yet my left hand reached for Dad’s cheek and caressed it gently, trying to transfer the warmth. He held me closer and I wrapped my hands tighter around his neck.

We danced and laughed in the snow; despite of the goose bumps. It was blissful.

However, it was 4 years ago. When Dad was still there to carry me on his back and laugh with me. I tried to curl my lips upward in a resemblance of smile as my heart cried; reminiscing back our memories together. 

Tears started to run down my pallid cheek but I forced myself to smile, half hoping if I wish hard enough, the lump in my throat could be eased.

“Dad. You are still my hero though you are not here in this world anymore.” I muttered under my breath slowly before the sobs grew harder and tears streamed down, ready to drench my collar.

Yes. My Dad is still my hero. He watched me from up there. From the blue skies.

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Everything happens for a reason

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. I was about to write another daily rant but after a paragraph , I decided to transform it into an essay . Hahaha . Hope you enjoy reading it :p

I sat huddled on my bed , staring lazily at the windowpane as the slanted light of dawn was rippling through the broken glass , the dark skies were shading the Earth as a few stars were dangling on it like priceless jewelries . It was gloomy though . I let myself to fall into the endless expanses of the sky as the news since the past three days ago began to subjugate my brain . Each words of the headlines were  replayed back and forth through my cerebrum . 

"Killed in the woods . Left with missing head ."
"Twins , no more ."
"A bloated toddler was found at the river bank."

"Aaaahhh..." A moan escaped from her bleeding mouth . A few words were uttered afterwards but of course I hardly heard it , deciding to just ignore her .

"Ahh ! " she grunted louder and my mind was snapped into focus . The headlines eventually vanished from my mind right away.

Now I realize . The Sun was making its way on the sky .Morning started to creep .I tried to blink as the sliver of sunlight made my vision blur . The agony in my head was unbearable albeit I had tried my best not to wonder about them anymore , like I often did . But it was almost impossible , however. 
For another hundredth time , a long deep heavy sigh was expelled from my mouth. I started to comfort myself . 

"Everything happens for a reason." 

But it was hard . Hard enough to tell myself another lies , like pretending that you are fine when you are actually not . It did hurt . Deep down inside my heart , the pain began to kill my soul slowly . 

It felt like there was a lump in my throat as the tears were swimming in my eyes. A moment later , they were gradually shred , trickled down my smudged cheekbones , making their careless way to the shirt collar -: ready to be drenched as the soundless wail turned into a sob . A real hard sob , accompanied by curses , blurted with regrets.

"H...elp .." With an abated breath , she tried to speak again . This time , in the most pleading voice . 

"What ? You ruined my life ! My dream ! You ruined everything !" I screamed while cupping my ears . Shifting my gaze towards her , I cannot help but to notice some broken glasses shattered near her body . But empathy was far beyond me . 
The smell of blood made me to feel sick . Nonchalantly , I raised and walked towards her , trying to ignore the smell that hit my nose harder. I gritted my teeth and stared at her annoying demeanor. Anger petrified me .

Without hesitation I jabbed her with a dagger in my right grip , drawing another pattern of wound on her shoulder . The floor is then flooded with red thick blood . She bit her lower lip as she closed her eyes but not a single tears were coming out . Her eyes were probably dry after three days of crying and weeping. She had no more reason to cry . 
All of her children were killed by their own inhumane father. In a few seconds , she might follow them.

"You abhor me ! That's why you cheated , being a disloyal wife to me. They aren't my children !" Followed by another scream , I stabbed her on the stomach for a few times . 

Her body stiffened and I finally stopped . Her dress was hardly recognized now as the colour slowly turned red for the white linen were drenched with blood. She was not moving . Not even an inch . And there was no breathe being exhaled anymore.

With knife still glued in her stomach , I pulled her into my arms and placed her head on my lap . I caressed her lips and traced her nose bridge with my index finger before I planted a kiss on it.

Smile was plastered on my face. 

The fears will stop haunting me now .

# I'm not sure if there's any mistakes , coz I haven't check the grammar yet . Well , you can always correct me if I'm wrong :)
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Monday, 8 April 2013


“Just close your eyes , the sun is going down …
You’ll be alright , no one can hurt you now …
Come morning light , you and I will be…
Safe …and sound…”

  While my eyes were transfixed to the little girl in front of me , my lips curled into a broad smile as I ended the rhymes. She looked so calm even while sleeping. She had no duvet to cover her yet , she did not seem bothered at all by the cold, that she gave not the slightest twitch nor shiver. Kyra .
The beautiful name was given by my late wife.

I still could not shifted my gaze from her as my eyes were fixated by her deep slumber. A sliver of moonlight shone through the window, slicing her pallid face.

 This little girl of mine looked as angelic as her mother.

“You have to look after our daughter. Raise her and love her like you love me.”

 My wife’s face and her familiar voice appeared to my mind consecutively. How could I forget her last wishes….
 She was the symbol of love between the land and the ocean. Ah ! My mind was suddenly preoccupied by the demeanour of Andrea , my late wife. A deep heavy sigh unwillingly escaped from my long-held breath as my head started to replay the memory of two years ago like a brand new blue-ray disk .      

“I can’t do this , Grey. We won’t make a perfect family. We are different and I am certain that you will suffer because of me.” My eyebrows arched into a frown as Andrea answered gently when I asked her about having children. Why ? Her reply made me inquisitive. 
As I was about to ask her further, she begged me in her gentle voice to forget about the issue. A moan  unwillingly expelled from my mouth. Curiosity palpitated mercilessly in my heart. I wanted to know the reason , but Andrea had already shifted her gaze from mine-making me to stay frustrated.

Andrea started to create distance between us after our tête-à-tête about the family planning  issue. Her silence caused prickles of regrets in my veins ;- I was beginning to wish I had never bring out the issue. 

Qualms haunted me and that night , about three days after the row , I decided to calm my anxiety on our rooftop. The gleaming stars hung like priceless jewels on the pitch black November sky, but petrify  was stronger than anything I possessed , made me barely aware of the stars. Was it my fault ? But , what I had done ? Why did she was so mad at me , then ? My mind was busy speculating the reason of our distance.

“You’ll be alright , no one can hurt you now …
Come morning  light , you and I will be…
Safe …and sound…”

Andrea ! It was her voice ! What was she doing , singing at night ? As the unanswered question flashed back and forth in my mind , I sprinted towards the stairs and dashed down, limping towards the source of her melodious voice. 

There she was…. I felt relieved as I saw her blissful expression. Sitting at the corner of the swimming pool, she stretched out one of her arms, beckoning me to sit beside her. A gratifying smile etched her lips and gay as she was , I could not help my smirk .
 “ Aren’t you suppose to be mad at me ?” The question was laboured from my mouth without hesitation.

 She stared at me in awe and for a moment , I was terrified for the answer.
“Not anymore.” She smiled .Oh . Thank God. My eyes searched for her stunning and peerless face. She was very beautiful with her pair of blue eyes and small pinkish lips.

To my disbelief , Andrea suddenly jumped into the water and perfunctorily I followed her – as if I was under a mantra !

She swam deeper. I followed her. Unconsciously , we were not in our swimming pool anymore. A whirlwind took us to the other world! Feeling a little bit dizzy , I attempted to focus to my surrounding. It  was a spectacular vista and I was momentarily paralyzed by the view. Wow!

Andrea grabbed my hand, pulling me closer to her and she swam swiftly towards a school of fish. I gape in disbelief. Andrea was speaking with them! A sound escaped me unexpectedly. The same combination of gasp and groan that came from being submerged in water, deprived of oxygen to the point of pain in my chest.

“Just breathe. You will be fine.” I was nearly jumped out of my skin as Andrea spoke to me. Under the water ! I tried to inhale my breath , slowly before it became faster. My heart was still beating ! I could feel it palpitating blood through my body. I was still alive. Haha. I inhaled more air while yipping gleefully and Andrea only chuckled.

“This place used to be my home , Grey. This is where I was born.” After a few moments of stony deathly silence, Andrea then tried to start a conversation. I could only manage a frown ;  confused.  

“I’m a mermaid, Grey ! That is why I cannot have children with you. I was afraid.” Her voice diminished. She continued , “ I was afraid of my father. He used to tell me , if I have children with human , he will kill me. He despised me , Grey.” I cupped her shoulder with my palm and take her into my hug , hoping she would understand my gesture.

‘I will protect you and our family.’ Deep inside my heart , I made a promise.

“I wish my father will forgive me. I don’t want to…” But , out of blue, Andrea’s voice reverberated in my eardrums and in a blink of eyes , it was gone. Her mien faded and the bubble washed it away. I breathed rapidly , nearly cried.

Slowly , I opened my eyes. The sun was shining brightly outside the sliding door. Tossing towards my right, I realized that Andrea was not in our room. I sat huddled on the mattress. My mind was still distracted. I was sure, very sure that I did not sleep in my room last night. Then , the dream ? Was it really is a dream ? Or was it not ?  Ah! What if Andrea was really a mermaid ?

LABOUR ROOM . Ten months later…

I clasped Andrea’s hands firmly. With uncontrolled breath, she was struggling to smile. Inhaling a great deal of air, she squeezed my hand. Tears were already trickling down her sallow cheek. She opened her mouth , gasping for more air while trying to speak. I shook my head, sobbing real hard.

“Grey… you have to….look after Kyra…” Andrea swallow hardly before continuing , “Raised her…and love her…like you love me.”

 I wiped the tears while forcing myself to stop wailing. This was her fate. Andrea never know that she will turn into a mermaid again after giving birth to a human’s child ! Not until this day . Not until Andrea’s father , Arthur came to the hospital right before she entered the labour room, about five hours ago.

“You will turn into a mermaid again. That is why I don’ t want you to marry a human. It is not that I hate you but I don't want to see your family breaking apart.” 

Poor Andrea was actually almost fainted and I -hardly believe him - kept blinking , as if a bomb was being dropped right in front of my nose. We were very happy about the child just now, but then , in a blink of eyes …..everything changes.

The dream of months ago flashed in my mind. Ah ! Than it was not a dream ! It was real ! Andrea used to take me to her place. I sighed.

 After five hours struggling to give birth , Andrea was struggling to kept alive before her father took her away. Her breath decreased. Closing my eyes , I planted a kiss on her forehead and in a second , she had stop breathing. 

But , moments later , I could feel goosebumps of her hug from my back. Oh… She had gone. It was her soul. Running my eyes to the back , I saw her , wearing her favourite white shirt as a farewell gesture. Her eyes were full of tears , ready to be shred out from the blue eyes. I nodded , trying to avoid her gaze and rebelled the thoughts of her going away . Andrea strode towards her father and he took her hand. They walked towards the door and her petite body was fading as she walked past it .

 Andrea's wishes was still vibrated in me ; to look after Kyra and love her like how I love Andrea.

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