Showing posts with label essay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label essay. Show all posts

Saturday 11 February 2017

My take on Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

               Creating a new label/tag for this blog : Books Reviews... and this is my first post of it. Being accustomed with books since my early years, I loved to quench my imagination with reading. Hence, I thought how great would it be to share my two cents with others :) Well, to commemorate this new blog tag, I would review one of my favourite books as a little girl and how different I see it now that I've grown up. 

                 As a young girl, my books preference comprised of princesses’ adventures, and of course , my favourite character of all was Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs. Snow White according to my eyes, was a very demure character. As she has lost her mother, it is understandable that she was not exposed to what are the do’s and don’t’s in life. She relies on her instinct most of the times. When she meets the seven dwarfs, she trusts her intuition and says yes to their each and every requests. She also does not mind at all when asked to do the house chores. As a kid, I found it very intriguing as doing house chores was another burden I wished not to carry. Thus, reading Snow White, I saw the joy of doing chores by pretending to be surrounded by the dwarfs ; that is how influential Snow White was to me during the old days.

                 However, when I went through the pages of my once the most favourite fairytale again at the age of 22, I came out with a conclusion that I was indeed a very naive kid. I wouldn't dare to criticise the book as a bad one as Snow White and the Seven Dwarf appears to most people as the milestone to one of many fairytales from decades ago; but it became apparent to me that some of the depictions might be contrasting to my principles these days, mainly in the manifestation of the stereotypical characters' traits in it. 

                   The first thing which occurred to my mind after rereading this book is that, jealousy and beauty are what propel the story. The step mother, known to all as the wicked Queen, was willing to go to the extent of killing an innocent young girl, just so she can claim her status as the most beautiful lady of all. The Queen was extremely fond of her fairness, taking narcissism to another level. Personalities which are related to this disorder are manipulativeness, selfishness and vanity; which are no difference to the Queen ! As she ordered her huntsman to bring back Snow White’s liver as the proof, it verified how manipulative and cunning she could be. Her desperation had driven her to a few other sinister schemes when her first plan failed, proving that beauty and rage is the core idea of this book. It struck me as and adult reader if the hidden message is actually ‘You are beautiful if you are fair’ and there is no bad consequences related to the fairness at the end of this book as the manipulative Queen only fell into the chasm. This corrupting influence is portrayed again in the manifestation of Snow White’s character.

                       When the huntsman freed Snow White because apparently she was “too pretty to be killed” , I learned how the dogma of beauty is slowly being induced into our gullible little minds. Snow White is a very fair girl, with crimson-red ruby lips and pitch-black hair, which gave us an impression that her appearance is the definition of beauty when the truth is, beauty is subjective. I too, as a kid , fell into this trap and held onto this credo, leading me to endless efforts to be as fair as what the denotation holds. I am well aware that girls are more inclined to pretty things and I did enjoy touching up here and there but I see no reason why we should be ruled by it. I also believed that people will be nicer to you if you are pretty but now that I have met various kinds of people, no, beauty is not the only ticket for you to win others’ hearts. There are still more beyond that. Beauty for me now, is when you are able to love every inches of your flaws, flaunt it with pride and still make people fall in love with you for who you are;- not merely based on the looks. To be exposed to this kind of mentality at a tender age is not a good quality you wish to take along as you are about to embark into your youth, so I wish this stigma can be erased from our culture these days. It is because we are far deep into this belief that we have composed a generation of the wicked Queen and Snow White;- people who have greed on beauty and people who think that beauty can save them.

                  As the narration proceeded to where she eventually met the seven dwarfs , the pernicious gender stereotype was pretty apparent and as a kid, I was enlightened by this narrow thought. For the ingenuous me, it's in women’s nature to be as domesticated as possible and mothers the members of the house. When a girl in her age is supposed to be going to schools and get herself educated, Snow White on the other hand was running errands for the dwarfs. Not to mention, she spent most of her time day dreaming and nagging. I realize how contradicting this trait is compared to Belle in The Beauty and The Beast , only after I reread the book. As my 6 years old self indulged upon this unfathomable ideology, it was to no surprise that my younger self was once convinced that girls were supposed to be capable of juggling tasks. The little kid in me seemed to find no drawback in this matter as that was the kind of mentality I clung to from reading such book, providing I only have girl siblings, I did not know how to compare the conventional values of each genders.

                    Growing older, I began to realize that it is a progressive world and both men and women are capable of doing things they wished to. If and only Snow White was a little bit smarter, she might be capable of fighting the evil Queen instead of wandering in the dark enchanted forest, crying for her life. I wonder if her life might as well as ended there, due to her lack of conscience. In fact, the story will come to a very quick ending if it is not due the sympathy offered by the Queen’s huntsman. Therefore, it is crystal clear that women were seen as an impotent entity back in those days where the setting of this story took place. They are depicted as day dreamers, hoping for the mercy of others and expecting the alpha males to save them. The bourgeois has long bestowed us with this perception and it is on us now to change the conventional perspective. In this contemporary era however, a woman is not entitled to only doing house chores and wait for the man to provide for them, for we have the same right for education now. I am sanguine that changes begin with us feeding our children with a more appropriate storylines and visions. It would be good too if parents can read this book to their kids and question them if these issues are still relevant. 

                    Last but not least, just like the rest of the tales, there are significances of sorcery and magic in this book. Regardless of how some people perceive fantasy books as an inferior quality to realism, I am in consummate discord with that dispute. I was ingrained with reading as an escapism from the real world and hence, when I read, I expect myself to envision the world beyond my reach and work on my creativity. Thus, when some books are made into movies, I noticed that every people have different ways in viewing the books and hence, evoked the phrases, “The book is much better than the movie” and “This is not how I imagined it to be.” It is considered hard to project what is in your head as it surpasses the bounds of possibility. Indeed, realism is the salient element in this life, so that we will be more prepared of what to expect next but magic also prompts young readers to see the world in different ways. Furthermore, the beauty of imagination is that it can provide you with sparks of hope and make our life more adventurous yet enchanting. Not only that, the magic part has also taught me a lot in shaping my personality that I am today. As an example, when the Queen spoke to the mirror and the mirror replied her back, I was assured that objects around us were capable of emotions. They have certain ideas of certain things. As a result, I involuntarily learned about empathy; having to put yourself in the other’s shoes and to consider their opinions too because no matter how sure you are, you might not know everything.

                      Thus, it is precise to say that Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs has a lot to offer me as a young reader and the most compelling reason is the creative and appealing melodrama. The Queen taught us that one has to be extra mindful in planning and Snow White made us see how good wins over evil by being gentle. The cliché ending also made us believe that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and to remain positive in spite of the sufferings we have to endure. Reading Snow White was enjoyable and it still is but with more knowledge now, there are a lot I can question from the oeuvre. Although the flaws and stereotypes could be derived from societies back in the old days, we cannot deny the beauty of friendship in it and how it has engraved another world of escapism within us. This classic piece of tales is undeniably an excellent antidote to a bumpy childhood.



 

Wednesday 20 November 2013

Working my way through

Assalamualaikum :) 

Well , I have MUET exam in a few days and this is my second attempt trying to answer the past year question. For the time being, I honestly don't have the mood to write. 
Leaving my draft here. Just in case I feel like continuing it.



“Women make better leaders than men”

Main Idea

-For peace to prevail. (world history suggests that violence and conflicts were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership )
-great leaders have great communication skills. (women prefer to communicate directly. Ask big-picture question about their work and its value . And they listen to others’)
-more sensitive towards the need of society . and most women are more meticulous and detailed . (look for minor details)

Draft 1

              Apropos of this statement, I am in consummate accord with it; women make better leaders than men. Observing this issue from some perspectives, I believe that a leader is like a helmsman of a sailing ship. It may seem like a rather simple and easy task:- to steer the vessel and conduct the whole crew to arrive at the desired destination but the responsibilities are huge. The team are wholly reliant on the sacrosanct ability of their leader; one small mistake and the whole ship sink. Nevertheless, despite the capability that a leader should possess, many of us still keep bringing up the issue of who have the potential to be greater leader, men or women? We have not only seen this debate between genders for these past few years but since time immemorial. In my humble opinion, it is rather a more accurate notion to agree that women make better leaders due to their creativity in solving problems, sensitivity towards the society need and ability to communicate directly.

             To begin with, women do prefer to solve the problems in a more creative way, unlike men whom mostly preferred to end any confrontation with violence.  As far as we can submerge ourselves in the world of history, we see wars, power struggles, conflicts and violent competitions between humans as the revolutions stroke. Predominantly dominated by male rulers and leaders, the tendency in prevailing peace always ended in vain or else, vie. As the ruling powers relegated from men to women since these past few years, only then people start living in amity.

Google : Hatshepsut … queen victoria….bloody marry, record their approach towards war vs other kings.


Continue later ….
Disputing: 
Have wars BUT...
Even though most of the women who are known to be great till date, e.g. Queen Isabella of Spain, Queens Marry, a.k.a. Bloody Marry, Victoria, and Elizabeth of Britain, all have ruled over vast spectrums of power. And they often have done so ruthlessly, achieving goals with an iron hand. They have waged wars that are barely comparable to only few of those devised by men. These women are not anomalies of history, but examples from numerous others, who went beyond the boundaries of gender in the path of prevailing in power while expending peace whenever they deemed it to be expendable.


Concluding paragraph ?

              The two greatest wars of modern history, World Wars I & II, have taught us that wars are impersonal. Race, religion, nationality, sex are only pretence to the universally human lust for power. During both the global conflicts men were in the rulers’ thrones. 
It will also be foolish to ignore that Margaret Thatcher, the famed Iron Lady who spared no rod against a minnow enemy in the war of Falkland, whom has prevented a larger scale of war (compare with: how the greats Winston Churchill and Franklyn D. Roosevelt had been tackling the Axis of Hitler). A deeper perspective always reveals to historians that conflict is a generic tendency of humans. So peace being disturbed is not the liability of men only, but humans in general, and a power shift, from men to women, is destined to be fruitful in prevailing peace.


Argument for male leaders: 
The gender issue is only a determinant in the battle of the sexes, not the battles among nations and peoples. It is therefore impertinent, if not irrational, to conclude that world conflicts result from the rule of a particular gender and the finer sex would do a better job at prevailing peace if selectively put at the helm of human nations….. OR .




* I should read more. At time like this, I started to realize how important it is to read :'( 

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The myth behind vampirism, a definition essay


Written by : Anis Fakhira bt. Mohd. Khirzani and Siti Hajar Bt. Idris . 


Vampirism : The Myth behind it
   Vampires. We often perceive about this undead creature who feed on the blood of the living. Albeit the tales about vampires might have been recorded in many cultures through the prehistoric times, the term vampire was not widely used until the early 18th century. Known by different names at the areas where vampire legends are numerous, such as Balkans and Eastern Europe (vrykolakas in Greece and strigoi in Romania), topics regarding vampires had become frequent, especially after an influx of vampire superstition into Western Europe. Due to this increasing level of vampire superstition in Europe, hysteria and cases resulted in corpses were being staked – even the innocent people were accused of vampirism. Then, people started to make a big fuss about vampire. Strong, mortal, can command the evils ; as Bram Stoker had written in his book, Dracula, we cannot argue more but to believe how great the vampires are. Nonetheless, this essay will give you further explanations regarding this creature, comprising the characteristics, strengths and weaknesses.
         A person who died violently, committed a suicide or was wrongly accused and killed, were told to have the power to avoid death by becoming a vampire. Various stories were told during that time about dead people ; they might come again and suck their friends blood or they will transform their family into vampires too. Of course, who would not be afraid of this haunting creature? Described to have a pair of red flaring eyes that will send shivers down humans’ veins, this creature somehow only have a slight different from the human. They might appear to look like human but they are not.
         This pallid face creature or sometimes known as the blood sucker, cannot live without blood. As blood is the elixir of life, it gives them energy, power and also replenishes their
body - blood is the key of mortality. Since the blood will only circulate in their body for a short time period, they do not suffer mental disorder or any other real humans’ diseases. The bloods that they drink only act as the oxygen supplier. Thus, it is impossible for them to die due to the infections. However, some might not know that vampire can be killed, which means their mortality can be ended. There are many ways that can lead towards their deaths such as burn them, remove their brain or just simply stab their heart by wood. Some said that they can be killed by using religious symbol but this method is not yet approved.
          As the intriguing stories about vampire were told from one generation towards other, we learned that they definitely have a lot of unnatural power. Not only peculiarly strong, vampirism also increases ones speed to superhuman levels, complete with surpassing grace of werewolves for vampires live beyond mortal time - they can travel from one place to another through a small amount of time, allowing them to move quicker than what the human eyes can notice.  They often appear to be much faster than they truly are; they can across a room in what seems like an eye-blink. In fact, the speed will keep increasing as they survive longer. Thus, tempering with time, the vampires can grow stronger.
           To have the ability to shape-shift into certain animal like bats, rats, cats, raven, and wolves, vampires definitely gain the power to control the animals like their puppets. Thus, it is possible for them to be able to call the animals; each vampire usually can call an animal only – one vampire could call bats and another could call wolves, for example. However, not all vampires have an animal to call. Hence, being able to call more than one animal is even rarer since it will be considered as a prime power, yet it is only effective for related animals such as leopards and lions or bats and rats. To call both snake and bear at the same time is impossible, hence. These animals will protect the vampires, act as servants and sometimes can kill the masters if they use the power for something improper and against the ability of the animals.
          Despite all the inhumanly great powers and strengths, vampires definitely have a long list of weaknesses too. Some accounts from the folklore indicated that vampires live in their graves during the day and rise during the night. It was quite a mystery back then before they finally figured out that it was all due to the sunlight. Vampire cannot endure the pulsing beams of the sunlight. To avoid the unrelenting rays, they only appear to be active at night; hunting and quenching the thirst for blood. Since vampirism turns people into a creature of evil, it is not an unusual occurrence that they restrain from sunlight:- sunlight represents good or in other way , it means that sunlight signifies God. Sure it is, even the vampires are afraid of the power of God.
         Other than the beaming rays of the sun, vampires are also vulnerable to the garlics. We often read from the myth, which vampire is an ancient metaphor for the horrible and unexplainable epidemic diseases (at that time). Then, how does this story of garlic circulate?  Infections like the plague and cholera that killed thousands of people coming without any visible cause, had caused the people to bring out the ‘garlic stories’- due to the benefit that the garlics provide; to kill germs. Another concept is, garlic is also a known insect repellent which reportedly works well against mosquitoes as vampirism can be seen as the symbolic of mosquito bites. While the origins of the myth cannot be confirmed, we can be sure that Dracula must have had a really bad breath. This would fit well with the vampire folklore and gothic fiction.
            Vampires have haunted our dreams for ages. Most are scared because of their appearance, dark, predatory, and some may even say, devilish. While others were wary of them because of their abilities, the idea of having overhyped supernatural abilities like flying, transforming and immortality boggles and fascinates the human mind because of their illogical nature. Only by placing these tempting and illogical thoughts to illusive creatures like the vampire can we find solace and peace to sleep at night. And if they do turn up to be true, we have quite a few ways to kill them, be it beheading them, staking and burn their hearts or stuffing the poor vampire’s mouth with garlic. Even though the origins to the myth of vampires can roughly be traced to the ancient time, the human mind will forever remain entwined with the idea of the immortal blood sucking creatures and constantly evolve the legend, adding more characteristics and abilities.
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Wednesday 10 July 2013

Rejuvenate & Rejoice

Rewrote this essay for writing class :) and edited the ending . Kinda like the new ending . Hope you guys like it too !!!





The wind.
It came like spears, prickling her soul. The blanket was being too thin, it might be. As the maid saw her Madame twitching in shiver, she darted towards the other chamber to take another thick woollen blanket.

Lauren tried to inhale a great sum of air;- hoping the pain in her chest could be eased. Ah  She knew, her maid's endeavour would end in vain . Though she had added two ... no ... no ... three ... no ... it would still be insufficient. Lauren sighed and coughed again. She could feel a sharp pain in her chest ; like being submerged in water , deprived of oxygen. Her head was heavy and so was her eyes but she could not close them. Not yet.

Lauren rubbed the empty space beside her and it felt cold, like the room temperature, indicating her daughter was not there before. Curiosity began to subjugate her brain. Where was her daughter?

"Mummy. Dinner is ready."

She sighed as she realized there was a tiny hand pulling her left hand. What should she answer? She had no energy to eat and consume the food. All she could do was lying carelessly on the mattress, accompanied by a surfeit of queasy sensation patrolling by her uvular. But ... of course.

"You have last staged cancer."

The doctor's voice was still reverberated in her eardrums. She suffered bone cancer but she refused to be warded. Lauren knew that she would have to go sooner or later. She did not have much time left for her daughter , Aya .

Aya ...
Six years old Aya knew nothing . She was still young and gullible . Two weeks after she was born, her father died in a tragic car crash. Thinking about Aya's future, without no one to look after her , Lauren could not stop the tears from streaming down her cold and pallid cheek. Loving Aya was the greatest feeling she had ever had. However, she had to leave her daughter soon.

"Mummy . The dinner is ready." Her brain snapped into focus as Aya kept on repeating the statement for a few times while clasping her mother's wiry arm.

Lauren tried to curl her lips upward in a semblance of a smile , coughing really hard and only managed to nod consecutively. Aya looked satisfied by the nods and she replied with an angelic smile.
Kissing her mother's forehead , Aya's twinkling eyes then nailed to Lauren's mien before she dashed towards the door.
Lauren exhaled a long-deep heavy sigh.

The unforgiving winds wailed proudly as they struck despair down to her very core. Her time has came. She could not bear the pain any longer. Another gentle breeze caressed her skin and ruffled her messy hair. Her dull weak hand reached for her chest , trying to sooth the pain . The agony was killing her ;- as if the bones were slowly shattered into pieces.

"I have been waiting for you and you are still sleeping?" Her ears caught Aya's voice, startling her.

Lauren could detect that Aya was approaching her and climbed onto the bed as the bed made a squeaky sound. Aya crawled towards her mother, sat huddled and stroked Lauren's hair gently . Lauren's hair used to be in brunette and all shiny but it was quite dull lately. Curling up small beside Lauren, Aya rested her head against her mother while kissing Lauren's shoulder repeatedly. Maybe Mummy was tired. Very tired.

"Darling." Lauren called her daughter hoarsely.
"I will be sleeping for another thousand years." She uttered with an abated breathe. "Take..care...of yourself."

Aya twitched her eyebrow in bewilderment.

Suddenly , her already wide eyes flipped open broadly and the small mouth asked in wonder , "But it was a long time , Mummy. What should I do to wake you up ?" Lauren rendered speechless upon hearing the unanswered question.

Aya wrapped her hands around Lauren's arm tightly while her eyes were still transfixed to her mother. She did not care. She would still wait until another thousand years as long as they would eventually have dinner together. They would have their pasta and laughed again . Like before.


"I love you .You love me 
We're a happy family 
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. 
Won't you say you love me too"


Tears swam in Lauren's eyes as Aya sang her favourite rhymes. Aya caressed her mother's wrinkled eyes before kissing them. She yawned and she could feel her eyelids were heavy. She would love to sleep but she was afraid . What if Mummy wakes up and needs her help ? She yawned once again and finally closed her eyes while tightened her hug.


Lauren gasped as another sharp pain hit her , the pain of her soul being taken. But no tears were coming out. Yes . She was ready to leave Aya.  Lauren inhaled the air , inhaled the smell of Aya's hair , and managed a smile .



Two hours later ...

"Mummy , wake up. Why are you so cold ?" Shaking her mother's arm for a few times, Aya uttered the question in panic. There was no reply however.

Her mother was lying breathlessly on the bed, not moving or even coughing . What had happened ?!

Aya jumped out of the bed and ran towards the maid's room. Pulling the maid's hand , she murmured , nearly cried ,"Mummy is cold. Put more blanket on her. Quick! "

The maid approached her Madame and leaned forward to check the pulse.

"Mummy is not cold , sweetie . She's only tired and needs some sleep. " Aya winced and exclaimed that her mother have to wake up no matter what. Lauren hadn't had her dinner yet . She would starve.
Nevertheless, the maid would only shook her head while trying to plaster a smile . She tried not to cry in front of Aya but it was really hard .

All of sudden , Aya sprinted towards the table beside her mother's bed and grabbed her mother's purse  and the car key. She immediately handed it to the maid.

"Quick . We must find a really BIIIIG alarm clock to wake Mummy up."

Tears were eventually coming out from the maid's eyes and she sobbed real hard, trying to stop them . Seeing Aya's big twinkling aqua eyes pleading to her , made her to torn between telling the truth and making wild flying lies. She held the innocent little child in her arms and muttered weakly under her breathe ,

"Mummy will wake up, dear. I promise you.”

Aya nailed her eyes onto her maid’s face, eyebrows twitched and mouth pouted , disappointed by the answer :- it was not what she expected. She needed the clock! Not a promise. Mummy must be very hungry. 
Her insisting gaze sent shivers of guilty into the maid’s spine.

Can we buy the alarm clock tomorrow? The shopkeepers out there must be very sleepy. It’s already midnight, darling.” And she eventually nodded in frustration.

Aya could not sleep in peace, of course – thinking about Mummy would turn the night into a very long night.
She finally fell asleep while hoping that tomorrow would bring her good news.



She tried to open her eyes. But the unrelenting light was unbearable. Aya forced her eyes open though she felt like there were heavy stones on her eyelids. The rocking motion that carried her made her eyes immediately flipped open in curiosity. Where was she ?

Aya blinked her eyes for a few times, trying to comprehend the situation around her. Cold sprouted her body and her teeth gritted as she heard the ‘swoosh and swish’ of the rain. 
The maid was embracing her yet the warm gesture could not ease her worry. She ran her eyes around her only to see men and women in black, carrying umbrella in their hands. They looked sad. Some were even sobbing and Aya was pretty sure she saw a familiar old lady in a black cape and that lady was wailing real hard.


“Where are we?” the question was finally laboured from her mouth.

“At the cemetery.” Her maid replied in a forced gusto.

What is cemetery ? Curiosity bubbled inside her, she asked another question. "Why we're here?"

Mummy was going to somewhere really far. A better place: - she could watch Aya better from there. She could smile and laugh again if she goes there. “That is why we are here ; to send her.” The maid had told her and she explained more, “So you cannot cry or Mummy will not be happy again.”


Aya nodded repeatedly. Her mind considered the request. Crying was the only solution she could think of but in the meantime, she wanted Mummy to be happy again. It was okay not to cry. She knew she could do it.


With lump in her throat, Aya caressed her cold nose bridge, trying to stop the tears from coming out.
‘Please tears. For once. Please do not come out. Mummy has to be happy. She's sad enough lately.’ She whispered slowly, encouraging herself.


For the first time , Aya did not cry watching her Mummy going; unlike before when her Mummy left for outstation. 
In fact, she smiled. “Mummy, I hope you will be happy.”



But it was 12 years ago . . . When she knew nothing about death. Now she is mature enough to understand the life. 
Sometimes, she would wonder, why her Mummy had to go so early but then, a letter from Mummy for her 18th birthday explained everything. She did not need another answer.


“The dying should be rejuvenated
and the living should be rejoiced
and continue the life
as He had planned everything.”



True. He had planned everything.
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Wednesday 22 May 2013

Everything happens for a reason

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. I was about to write another daily rant but after a paragraph , I decided to rewrite a short story I made at school. Hahaha . Here goes nothing. 



I sat huddled on my bed , staring lazily at the windowpane as the slanted light of dawn was rippling through the broken glass , the dark skies were shading the Earth as a few stars were dangling on it like priceless jewelries . It was gloomy though . I let myself fall into the endless expanses of the sky as the news since the past three days ago began to subjugate my brain . Each words of the headlines were  replayed back and forth through my cerebrum . 

"Killed in the woods . Left with missing head ."
"Twins , no more ."
"A bloated toddler was found at the river bank."


"Aaaahhh..." A moan escaped from her bleeding mouth . A few words were uttered afterwards but of course I hardly heard it; deciding to just ignore her .

"Ahh ! " she grunted louder and my mind was snapped into focus . The headlines eventually vanished from my mind right away.

Now I realize . The Sun was making its way on the sky. Morning started to creep. I tried to blink as the sliver of sunlight made my vision blur . The agony in my head was unbearable albeit I had tried my best not to wonder about them anymore, like I often did . But it was almost impossible. 
For another hundredth time, a long deep heavy sigh was expelled from my mouth. I started to comfort myself, "Everything happens for a reason." 

But it was hard . Hard enough to tell myself another lies , like pretending that you're fine when you're actually not . It did hurt . Deep down inside my heart , the pain began to kill my soul slowly . 

It felt like there was a lump in my throat as the tears were swimming in my eyes. A moment later , they were gradually shred , trickled down my smudged cheekbones , making their careless way to the shirt collar -: ready to be drenched as the soundless wail turned into a sob . A real hard sob , accompanied by curses , blurted with regrets.

"H...elp ...me .." With an abated breath , she tried to speak again . This time, in the most pleading voice . 

"What ? You ruined my life ! My dream ! You ruined everything !" I screamed while cupping my ears . Shifting my gaze towards her , I couldn't help but to notice some broken glasses shattered near her body . But empathy was far beyond me . 
The smell of blood made me feel sick . Nonchalantly , I raised and walked towards her , trying to ignore the smell that hit my nose harder. I gritted my teeth and stared at her aggravating demeanor. Anger petrified me .

Without hesitation I jabbed her with a dagger in my right grip , drawing another pattern of wound on her shoulder . The floor is then flooded with red thick blood . She bit her lower lip as she closed her eyes but not a single tears were coming out . Her eyes were probably dry after three days of crying and weeping. She had no more reason to cry . 
All of her children were killed by their own inhumane father. In a few seconds , she might follow them.

"You abhor me ! That's why you cheated , being a disloyal wife to me. They aren't my children !" Followed by another scream , I stabbed her on the stomach for a few times . 

Her body stiffened and I finally stopped . Her dress was hardly recognized now as the colour slowly turned red for the white linen were drenched with blood. She was not moving . Not even an inch . And there was no breathe being exhaled anymore.

With knife still glued in her stomach , I pulled her into my arms and placed her head on my lap . I caressed her lips and traced her nose bridge with my index finger before I planted a kiss on it.

Smile was plastered on my face. 

The fear will stop haunting me now...for it has liberated me from my own angst.

# I'm not sure if there's any mistakes , coz I haven't check the grammar yet . Well , you can always correct me if I'm wrong :)
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